also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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