their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize