i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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