Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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