Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I have already put on my inside pants.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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