Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best