If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
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they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
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Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes