First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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