i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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