May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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