Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
it's great music for shaving your balls
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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