Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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