sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
