In the future we'll all be gay
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
