I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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