No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize