BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
