TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
