pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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