whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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