South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
