Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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