im drinking this country out of the recession.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
