those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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