i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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