From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I will pee on everything he values.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
