Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize