I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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