I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
