dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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