He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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