Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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