Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
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