there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
