So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize
