Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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