Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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