imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
