Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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