Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
