I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
