i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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