i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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