i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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