i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Sacagawea was the original milf.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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