i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
