She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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