Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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