OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
