I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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