Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
