my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
