New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize