yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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