I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
