Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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