I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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