first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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