Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
