they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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