Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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